tundrajaz

I have not posted a new blog in a while so I thought that it was time to do so.  Although this one is not at all sports related, I thought that it was pretty funny.  I actually got the idea from reading the back of a cereal box.  How lame am I that I actually take the time to read the back of a children's cereal box?  I could not believe what I was reading so I got suckered into researching the topic on the internet.  I can't believe how many sites are dedicated to this topic.  My source for this information came from the following link... http://www.dumblaws.com

I have no affiliation with this website, I just wanted to make sure that I gave proper credit for the information.  Please feel free to add any additional stupid laws that you can come up with.  Please just try to make sure that they are true and post your source.  Lets try to have some fun with this one.  I'll start with a sampling from my home state....

1. Women may go topless in public, prividing it is not being used as a business.
2. It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing body hugging clothing.
3. Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
4. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.
5. It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.
6. The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
7. A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
8. While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
9. Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.
10. Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits. - Carmel, NY

I know, I know.  Tell us something that we don't already know, right.  I can no longer hold back my sarcasm.  Anyone who reads or listens to the media coverage on "Spygate", Roger Clemens, or Barry Bonds would be lead to believe that cheating in sports is a brand new phenomenon.  Come on now folks, lets come back to a bit of reality here.  Cheating is not new.  It has been going on virtually forever.

Sportsman have been cheating dating back to the dawn of the Greek and Roman civiliztions.  I'm quite certain (more sarcasm) that the very first olympianswere always completely honest and forthright citizens who never attempted to gain an advantage by doing things outside of the rules.  Roman Gladiators always said, "No, I'm affraid I can't do that.  It just would not be right."  Sure they did.  Jousting competitions of the middle ages were always above reproach.  Does everyone get where I'm going with this?  Modern times are no different.  Corked bats, scuffed baseballs, point shaving, performance enhancing drugs, video taping, etc. are all just new methods of doing the same things that have been done for centuries.

I know, what you are thinking.  We live in a more enlightened and sophisticated time where we should live by a code oh honor were honesty and sportsmanship should be valued above all else.  Idealism.  Pure idealism.  The truth of the matter is, It is all about winning.  The montra that "It's not if you win or lose.  It's how you play the game."  Is quite frankly a complete load of crap.  This is simply a concept which we attempt to teach our children in an attempt to help them along toward fitting in to a false vision of what a polite society expects of them.  In reality, "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" is the way things really work.  It all comes down to money and If you are not cheating, you are not trying.

It is sad to say but, the truth is, just about everyone wins when cheating is allowed to continue.  The athlete wins because, through cheating he or she gains an advantage over peers which result in bigger contracts and more endorsements.  Ownership wins through additional success, on the field resulting in an increased fan base, merchandise sales, and the justification for higher ticket prices.  The leagues and netwoks win through improved exposure and increased revenue from advertising.  Local businesses and municipalities win with an influx of revenue as well.  Even government officials, with aspiration of bigger and better opportunities, win due to increased national exposure.

Cheating goes far beyond the world of sports.  Corporate America cheats every day.  It is called industrial espionage.  Get the product to market before your competition.  Cheating is the way of the world and it always has been.

It is time for the media to get off of their soap boxes and stop pretending to be offended by the state of cheating.  The mass media outlets are the biggest cheaters on the planet.  They do whatever it takes to get the story first.

Now that I have ranted and raved on this subject, let the conversations begin.

One of the great things about sports is the pure entertainment value.  It doesn't matter if it is Pee Wee Football, Little League, college, or pro.  Aside from the excitement of the games themselves and rooting for your chosen teams, there is always the possibility that something completely unexpected just might happen that will make you laugh to the point that your chosen beverage comes out of your nose.

That is what this blog is all about.  Below is a true story that happened to me as a kid.  I first posted this on a thread back in March.  I received some mice feedback on the story so I decided that this might be a good topic for a blog.  So without further delay, here is my story.  Feel free to add your own and have some fun with this blog.

 This is a little league story dating back to the early 1980's.  I need to start by saying as a whole, I was a terrible baseball player.  I was a decent pitcher but I could not field to save my life and my hitting was marginal at best.  When I was not pitching the coach would put me in for "participation time" at third base.

On this particular day we were down 9 - 3 in the bottom of the 5th inning (we played 7 inning games back then), we were playing the field and the bases were loaded with nobody out.  I was playing about even with the bag.  The batter hit a line drive right at my head.  I basically stuck my glove up in self defense. As I caught the ball I fell backward and tripped over the 3rd base bag.  Through no conscious effort of my own, while flailing my arms and trying to catch my balance, I tagged out the runner at third.  I rolled head over heals into foul ground as the runner on second took off for 3rd.  As I am laying on my back everyone starts yelling, "He's coming!" I couldn't seem to stand up an d get my footing  so I started doing a fast "army crawl" toward the bag.  The runner and I got there at about the same time.  The umpire called the runner out but, to this day I know that I missed the tag and they guy was safe.  The ugliest unassisted triple play in the history of baseball.  After the play, I just rolled over on by back and started laughing my arse off.

We ended up losing the game 13-3.

Over the past several years, we as sports fans have become inundated with news stories involving steroid abuse, "spy gate", and the general stupidity shown by some of the worlds most famous and elite athletes.  The collective we have generally taken two approaches to thes stories.  Some of us have begun to react as though the idiotic behaviors of these athletes is simply "par for the course", another pampered sports star with too much time and money on their hands.  Others have come out and strongy criticised these people for their indiscretions, holding them to a higher moral standard due to their public persona and perceived status as a "role model" for our children.

I know, I know.  So what is your point?  My point is that as seemingly stupid as these athletes seen to be, the general public isn't getting ant smarter either.  A few perfect examples are listed below.  These are some of the most rediculous criminal situations that have happened over the past several week.  Some of them are pretty funny.

This first one happened in San Diego, CA on April 7th.  Apparently, two men, one a minor and one of legal drinking age, became highly intoxicated and made the decision to attempt to carjack a man.  The potential victim was able to get away.  About 20 minutes later they attempted to carjack a woman about a block away from their first attempt.  During this second attempt, the two men began arguing.  The argument quickly escalated into a fist fight.  The fight was still in progress when the police arrived on the scene.  After the men were arrested, they were taken to a local hospital for treatment of their injuries.

This next one is even better.  This happened on April 10th.  A Long Island man was arrested on a misdemeanor traffic violation and driving with a suspended license.  His bail was set at $50.  This rocket scientist attempted to pay his bail with a counterfeit $50 bill.  As of Friday, he was now being held on an additional felony charge of possession of a forges instrument.  Brilliant.

So you see, society is filled with complete morons.  It is not just our high profile athletes.  Maybe it's time to cut these poor misunderstood stars some slack (sarcasm).

If you would like to read more about some of these genetic defective brain surgeons, check out this link.   http://www.trutv.com/shows/tsg_pres
ents/dumb_of_the_day.html

 If you are aware of additional funny police blotter stories, post 'em here.  I'm sure that we could all use a good laugh evey now and then.

Like most people, as I get older, and the world in general continues to change and morph into something that would be unrecognizable when compared to my childhood years, I find myself becoming nostalgic for what, in my warped sense of reality could be considered much more simple time.  There are several ways in which I could have directed a blog like this but, today I'd like to focus on sports.  I'm specifically interested in hearing about your fondest sports memories dating back to the most formidable years, between maybe age 6 or 7 through your teen years.  For me I'll use 1976 - 1987 as my base years.  That should give everyone a clue as to how old I am.  What was it that made you the sports fan that you are today?  Lets hear your stories.

 I wont go into great detail, just yet but, some mine include,

• One specific trip to see the Yankees play the Red Sox at Yankee stadium in 1977
• The amazing Stanley Cup run that the New York Islanders made from 1980 - 1983
• The Dallas Cowboys teams of the 1970s
• The 1980 USA Hockey Gold Medal
• etc....

You get the idea.  Lets have some fun with this and for those of us who are a little older, I think we will begin to see how much times have changed.